torsdag 24. februar 2011

Guilty pleasures

I bet everybody has something they don't nescesarily advertise but still gives them comfort. Well i'm gonna break the mold and confess my "sins"...
 latelly i have been watching a show on MTV called Teen Moms. It started off as a spinoff from 16 and pregnant which follow pregnant teens in USA.
I was firstly fascinated and disgusted with the American sexual education system. i mean... half of these girls were totally clueless!
But anyway... 4 of these unlucky/witles girls have been followed thru the first 18 months of their childrens lives and i am absolutely hooked!
It is total trash-TV, but i am sat there really rooting for these girls. I want them to do good and i really want them to provide a good childhood for their children.

One girl gave up her child for adoption... which might be for the best as her family are total dope-heads with no direction in their lives what so ever. She still struggles tho but i think, despite feeling guilty about her choice, she has now given both herself and her daughter a fair chance in life. her baby is in a resourceful stable home and she herself can focus on getting out of the negative spiral that her own mother has disappeared into.

Another girl, Farrah,  is struggling with her own parents who still want her to be their little innocent girl. Her boyfirend and father of her daughter died in a car crash while she was pregnant, so not only has she a pregnancy at 16 to deal with but also grief at her boyfriends death! and her mother completelly disregards the whole issue saying "he was no good for you" and stuff like that... I see that the family cares, but they just don't seem to care that their granddaughter never will see her father... Whenever  Farrah brings up the subject, her mother mentally turns her back on her. It makes me so sad!  She needs support, not judgement.
It did make me laugh tho when she at one point went to a family planning clinic to get contraceptives. Just in case a god of a man came into her life... and her father when he discovered it made her out to be irresponsible and thoughtless. With that kind of attitude, i can fully understand how she got pregnant in the first place! What's worse, dad, her taking responsibility, just in case, or her getting pregnant again because you have forbidden contraceptives...? Honestly... Puritan Americans make my head spin...
I did not loose anybody as such but the boy i had a crush on at 16 died when i was 18. Even tho he hardly spoke to me and my total "relationship" with him was sitting on a school bench outside the cafeteria waiting for him to walk past so i could have a short glimpse of him, i was seriously upset when he died.
He ment something to me. He was an important part of my teens and my emotional landscape. He shaped me and was a big part in forming the adult me.
I can not even begin to imagine what this Farrah girl is going thru!

Due to the series the girls have become rather famous and I would venture to guess that they do - unlike most teenage mothers - have a steady income as a result. My question is wether it is selling your soul to provide for your child?
I mean... we take part as viewers in their day. we se one of them beating the baby-father up and screaming obcenities, I want to go into the TV and give her a hug sometimes. She seems so lost and she obviously need more help and support than what anybody around her understand. There are issues with her maturity too but I honestly hope she'll grow into herself and become more self confident. At the moment it seems everything she does goes wrong. I think the poor girl is actually depressed. It is common in teens and if there is an added issue of postnatal depression she hasn't been able to work thru... well it's not for me to say but she does need help!

Sometimes i think i should turn the TV off and stop watching the show, but at the same time, i have begun actually caring and worrying about these girls. I kinda feel responsible for them. I want them to do good. I want them to show other young girls how much a baby changes your life and i want more than anything for someone to help them!

The show is pure trash TV it's social pornography and i feel guilty for being an addict. it's embarrassing to watch these kinds of TV shows yet i feel like the series gives me something back. I care, i cry and i laugh with them as the stories and events unfold.
I have no idea why i started watching it. i usually never go for reality TV but something about those 4 girls struck a cord and now i can't stop caring about them. Its as if they are my friends... which is completelly bizarre coz i have never met them and never will...
I was almost a bit disappointed when i googled the show and realized how big it actually is. They aren't supposed to be famous. they are supposed to be young girls inside my TV and i'm supposed to care in a way i can't care about a celebrity.
I don't know.
In any case.
I'm addicted to the show... it's not cool and it's not trendy but i have to keep watching now. Just to make sure they do allright...

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