Do NOT Fuck with my country!

I'm sorry.
I normally don't swear but now the terror has crossed Norwegian borders. Oslo has been bombed, a youth camp has een massacred by an raging gunman.
In a few hours we have gone from being the safest country in the world to having all our security ripped out from under our feet.
We've gone from celebrating Tour de Fance victory Being angry about and rape and integration og foreigners to suspecting everyone and being shocked. i do not believe a single Norwegian citizen ever thought we would have to deal with something like this.
Our pride in being "best" has been spat on. We have been punished simply for our freedom and it is so unfair...
Some presumably intelligent person has planned it all. They have planned to and gone thru with a murder of innocent Norwegians. We are a people who pride ourselves on our tolerance and intolerance has now given us a reason to stop trusting.
several hearts have stopped beating
several lives have ended.
the number is still unknown.
I'm veering between disbelief and anger.

wolf wolf

In Norway there is full out political shit-slingning, normally known as a debate, about the future of wild meateaters.
Wether to reduce the population or allow it to grow.
The main concerns are farming and loss of sheep.

Thing is... In Norway there is a tradition to let sheep run free in the forests in the summer to fatten up. in older times, they used to have herders and milkmaids looking after the animals but theat went out of fashion at the same time as the demands to pay the herders came into fashion...

I know lots of youngsters who would really benefit from a wild and wonderful summer of herding...


But my point is not people and payment for sitting on your arse, chewing straws and babysitting sheep...

The point is.
The politicians can not see beyond the money.

They do not realize what a beautiful creature the wild wolf is.

It is practically hunted to extinction.
About 15 years ago I became passionate about wild carnivores when the norwegian army brought out the BIG guns in the form of a helicopter to kill a pregnant wolf.
She was the last of her pack and that pack was the last actual pack in Norway.
Now there are only a few lonely wolves.
The packs are no more.
There is talk about hybrids and how the wolves in Norway are "Hybrids" being as they are imported or migrated siberian or balkan wolves rather than Native scandinavian wolves...
And therefore we can kill wolves coz they are not native to norway...

BULLSHIT!
Realitycheck Mr. Politician dude...
If the Norwegian government had allowed the Norwegian Canis Lupus to live it would not be so rare and the siberian ones wouldn't find a home here...
The few pure scandinavian wolves left here are inbred and lonely.
And there is no real genetic difference in the scandinavian wolf and the siberian or baltic variety.
It's a bit like comparing Norwegian and Russian human DNA... The Russian people are NOT a different breed just because they come from Russia....
Ok so they have predominantly brown eyes and we have predominantly blue, but interbreeding won't make us any less human...

The politicians also blame the Lynx, Bear and Wolverine for the loss of sheep and have in the past allowed for winterculling of wolverines.
This means digging into the winter den of a wolverine mother and killing her small ones while the mother hibernates.
How is that even protecting wildlife?
It's a bit like throwing a baby boy in prison because he *might* rape a woman when he's a grown man...

and bears...
Largely vegetarian but won't say no thanks to a lovely lamb dinner if it walks into his territory.
who can blame him?
 

it all upsets me a bit.
They have been here since before the last Iceage, and without human egotism and complete lack of regard for anything but our own gain. They are built to hunt and built to last.
Nature needs the carnivores.
Nature does not need humans.
Our dear planet would probably do quite well without us here, but instead, we are here and we are destroying pretty much every wonderful thing we come across...

To be considered a "solid and sustainable" population, a species must count a minimum of 1000-2000 individuals.

In Norway we have 40-50 wolves, 330 bears, 245 wolverines and 385 lynx.

We have a LOT of forest. In fact only 20-30% of our country is farmable or habitable for human activity.
it might go without saying that we have enough room for the wild things too...

PRINCE!!!!!

Prince is coming to Norway 

I love this crazy man!
I dunno why but i've got a thing for androgynous men... like David Bowie and Prince... There is something slightly unhinged about them... like a caged animal running free...
And i love the unashamedly sensual quality of Prince's music.
And it has always been a dream of mine to see him live and now he's coming to Oslo...
Unfortunatelly i'll have to discuss childminders and such and get myself to oslo... not to mention getting tickets! they are only doing a small gig and i will have to get on to the ticketservice pretty fast tomorrow morning to get hold of one...

I will se the man before his hips give way... this may be my last chance...

I mean.. how cool is this?

You have GOT to be joking....

I'm sharing this in sheer horror...

Honestly... how much weird stuff is actually happening in this crazy world?

Blast from the past?

I'm in retro mode these days... when tidyin up i found my old computergame "civilization II" and i could not resist!!!!
I had so much fun, remembering old stratergies and defeating old enemies then starting all over and being all friendly, but getting annihilated by the Indian republic, led by warlord (!) Mahatma Ghandi...
Love it...

it took a unhealthy amount of my evening when i had plans to reherse a new song on my guitar...
we have no TV signal anymore due to the signal being digital and i can't afford/be botherered/will not buy a digibox. Therefore, i am doing all sorts of other stuff rather than being glued to the idiotbox every night... I have the basic entertainment on the internet anyway...
Anyways... The song i'm trying to get right is Espen Linds I want you.
I can not find the chords online so i'm trying to work it out but my music-ear is sadly untrained and i am a bit lost...
I think it's a C-G-F-Am-combo but i'm still working on it...
It is by far one of the most beautiful pop-songs i know. It conveys so much pain and so much desperation and reminds me of loving someone who is totally unobtainable...
Right now i am in a really good place, romantically. But sometimes you just need to be reminded of that butterfly-feeling and the hole in your heart that needs to be filled by just one person.
I just love this song...
despite it's somewhat sad lyrics and moll-tune, it makes me feel so good.
Here it is:

I do have somewhat of a "secret" crush on Espen Lind too tho...
those eyes and that smile just gives me shivers...
If i ever see him live i'll bring a poster saying "I want you coz baby you're so cool" Just to visualize my two fave songs of his...
Baby you're so cool is deliciously "Dirty" in such a naughty way you just can't help being charmed by the innocence and humor of it. he's more than welcome to smell my dirty underwear--- any time espen... you just let me know...LOL
Oh what the hell... i'll add that too...

Enjoy!

Bookreview! Land of the painted caves by J.M. Auel

The story continues the saga about Ayla wand her life in the stoneage. This book is mainly a story of how she becomes a shaman, spiritual leader and her journey to see the cave paintings in the area around where she lives.

The book is slow. It spends 500 pages repeating and re-hashing itself and the previous 5 books.
Don't get me wrong. It's interesting. But i need to admit to myself that certain passages, it does get boring. I was willing the story foreward and i was rooting for the characters to jump off the page as they have in the previous book but they only in brief glimpses come alive!
There are too many characters involved and some of the issues that Ayla had been building up to for 5 books does not come to any resolution. i mean, where is Durc, the child she had to leave behind. Where are te solutions to the Clan/the Others-conflict and why doesn't Jondalar act how he's suposed to!!!
I am disappointed but not without hope that a seventh book will bring my journey with Ayla to a more dignified and not so pathetic end....
Generally i feel as tho this book was a rushed project. It has untill now felt as though i've been reading a second or third draft of a novel in the process of being edited and although i'm not for a second going to say that it's a horrid book i will say that it's a piece of unfinished craftmanship i've been reading.
I LOVE caves. I loved the descriptions of the caves but it did get a bit much and a lot was repeated.
If she had followed the "plains" recipe and embellished the events along the way making the caves into an in-between i think i would have liked the tour better...
But it is an important part of the series mythology and the caves had to be there...
The mothers song was also a bit repetative.
during her calling i was expecting her (hoping rather...) that she would take a spirit-journey and see her son or a solution to the issues between Clan and the others, but instead she saw what every other animal on the planet knows insstinctively.


The series is kinda my "guilty pleasure". A lot of my friends see it as an embellished Harlequinn series and it's been described as "housewife-porn" by more than one of my friends but i can't help being addicted... it's been my "drug" from a very early age!!! This book was a bit like giving an alcoholic a flat non-alcoholic beer to staunch his thirst for more...

But i still LOVE the book for it's connection to a fictional universe i've often daydreamed i could be a part of. I've spent weeks in the forests trying to build myself a cave-man-life (to no avail as people would come with rations and flashligths and other modern equipment, plus the fact i couldn't make flint tools and had to use a modern knife...and matches... But hey... i tried...)
Whenever my life has been tough, i have returned to Ayla. not necessarily reading the books again but imagining how she would deal with the situation.
I could not have made it thru my teens in one piece without Auel's fiction. I would not have thought of loosing my virgintiy as first rites and therefore feeling sooo special the next day if i hadn't read those books. I'm pretty much the only one of my friends who had a peaceful and serene "first rites" as a result of thinking of it in terms of a ritual, not a random act of sex...

I have LIVED these books and been OBSESSED with Ayla's story since i was 12. it taught me soo much about independence and trusting your heart! It has mede me tolerant towards people of different skintones, sexuality and beliefs and it has made me who I am!
I LOVE these people. I even had a long relationship with a man which started because he looked like what i'd imagined Jonde to look!!!!

But i will not, despite it's repetative nature, give up on this novel.
I still LOVE the series and i probably always will. What I'm missing and thought this book was lacking was closure.
There is a lack of ending and a lack of resolving.
I miss finding a solution to where she came from and what her original name was. I miss finding a solution to the Clan/others conflicts and i miss her knowing what happened to her son.
as i say... it resembles a second draft gone straight to press...

I hope Auel, despite her ripe age of 75, will finish the series with a final book that takes us to the end of Ayla's life in a more dignified manner. this book was below Ayla's worth. we as readers and fans deserve a decent finale....

Happy birthday to me!

Yesterday i turned 33.
i can not believe it...

33....
there is so much stupid in my past and so much responsibillity in my future...
i am happy... don't get me wrong... i just don't feel ready to be adult...

Royals being normal.

It might just be me but i've grown up in Norway where the royal family on a regular basis shows their mortal side. they ski, they sail and they do completely normal things.
last week our little princess, 7 year old Ingrid Alexandra, who btw one day will be queen, handed a typically childmade paper effigy of one of our highest acclaimed skiing athletes, Marit Bjørgen.

Princess Ingrid Alexandra with her mother Crown Princess Mette Marit and a picture of her ski-figure... How cute?

I also lived in England for 9 years and the royals there never did anything "folksy" or normal.
It does however look like that is about to change tho...
The young (adult?) prince William, probably won't be king untill he's 80 due to his old daddy-o being next in line and most likely will sit on the throne untill he falls of it on his last day on the planet.
But... Look at the man now.
He's due to get married to -SHOCK- a girl of the "people"... and i think he's all the better for it.
His mum kinda set a standard with meeting the people but there was always something distant about her as if she was too shy or too sucessful.
But this new royal bride. She is one of the people. She's used to being around normal people and OK, she has put on a posh-ish accent latelly so they have obviously hired a coach in royal behaviour. She has obviously been a good influence on him too. He's always seemed a bit awkward in meeting the "public" as if he didn't know what to say to them. Just look at him now!  Both of them chatting to the children and helping the children throw those little pancakes.
And pay close attention to the looks he sends her way... the way he guides her thru the act of meeting "normal" people...
It's funny how obvious it is that he's found his queen.



I'm no royalist, but i have always had a soft spot for those two English princes. Possibly due to being a child of the 80'ies when Diana ruled the coloured gloss print. I've just always wanted them to be OK.
I think a normal girl will keep him grounded and focused.

Keep going Wills! This girl is doing you good and the pair of you can easily pick up where your mum left off if this video is anything to go by...

Decorating madness

In 6 months my daughter starts school.
In 5 months we have to be moved into the other halfs house. and i'm panicking.
i fear a semidessecrated decorators nightmare!
I don't wanna e-bay my stuff coz there is no place for it in the house at the moment!

bedroom?

we have 13 beds.... between the 3 of us... and we can't agree which to keep.
I am deeply attached to my bed but he thinks it would be more practical with a family bunkbed...

Living room??

in here there will be a bedsofa, a sofa, a coffetable and a TV...

kitchen?
Kitchen is sort of done... needs some surfaces cut to size and some doorfronts...

aren't i clever!
I've done the wiring!!

Did anybody say what a nightmare?

I do not see the end of it and this is just the lille bedsit rental flat downstairs!!!!

Guilty pleasures

I bet everybody has something they don't nescesarily advertise but still gives them comfort. Well i'm gonna break the mold and confess my "sins"...
 latelly i have been watching a show on MTV called Teen Moms. It started off as a spinoff from 16 and pregnant which follow pregnant teens in USA.
I was firstly fascinated and disgusted with the American sexual education system. i mean... half of these girls were totally clueless!
But anyway... 4 of these unlucky/witles girls have been followed thru the first 18 months of their childrens lives and i am absolutely hooked!
It is total trash-TV, but i am sat there really rooting for these girls. I want them to do good and i really want them to provide a good childhood for their children.

One girl gave up her child for adoption... which might be for the best as her family are total dope-heads with no direction in their lives what so ever. She still struggles tho but i think, despite feeling guilty about her choice, she has now given both herself and her daughter a fair chance in life. her baby is in a resourceful stable home and she herself can focus on getting out of the negative spiral that her own mother has disappeared into.

Another girl, Farrah,  is struggling with her own parents who still want her to be their little innocent girl. Her boyfirend and father of her daughter died in a car crash while she was pregnant, so not only has she a pregnancy at 16 to deal with but also grief at her boyfriends death! and her mother completelly disregards the whole issue saying "he was no good for you" and stuff like that... I see that the family cares, but they just don't seem to care that their granddaughter never will see her father... Whenever  Farrah brings up the subject, her mother mentally turns her back on her. It makes me so sad!  She needs support, not judgement.
It did make me laugh tho when she at one point went to a family planning clinic to get contraceptives. Just in case a god of a man came into her life... and her father when he discovered it made her out to be irresponsible and thoughtless. With that kind of attitude, i can fully understand how she got pregnant in the first place! What's worse, dad, her taking responsibility, just in case, or her getting pregnant again because you have forbidden contraceptives...? Honestly... Puritan Americans make my head spin...
I did not loose anybody as such but the boy i had a crush on at 16 died when i was 18. Even tho he hardly spoke to me and my total "relationship" with him was sitting on a school bench outside the cafeteria waiting for him to walk past so i could have a short glimpse of him, i was seriously upset when he died.
He ment something to me. He was an important part of my teens and my emotional landscape. He shaped me and was a big part in forming the adult me.
I can not even begin to imagine what this Farrah girl is going thru!

Due to the series the girls have become rather famous and I would venture to guess that they do - unlike most teenage mothers - have a steady income as a result. My question is wether it is selling your soul to provide for your child?
I mean... we take part as viewers in their day. we se one of them beating the baby-father up and screaming obcenities, I want to go into the TV and give her a hug sometimes. She seems so lost and she obviously need more help and support than what anybody around her understand. There are issues with her maturity too but I honestly hope she'll grow into herself and become more self confident. At the moment it seems everything she does goes wrong. I think the poor girl is actually depressed. It is common in teens and if there is an added issue of postnatal depression she hasn't been able to work thru... well it's not for me to say but she does need help!

Sometimes i think i should turn the TV off and stop watching the show, but at the same time, i have begun actually caring and worrying about these girls. I kinda feel responsible for them. I want them to do good. I want them to show other young girls how much a baby changes your life and i want more than anything for someone to help them!

The show is pure trash TV it's social pornography and i feel guilty for being an addict. it's embarrassing to watch these kinds of TV shows yet i feel like the series gives me something back. I care, i cry and i laugh with them as the stories and events unfold.
I have no idea why i started watching it. i usually never go for reality TV but something about those 4 girls struck a cord and now i can't stop caring about them. Its as if they are my friends... which is completelly bizarre coz i have never met them and never will...
I was almost a bit disappointed when i googled the show and realized how big it actually is. They aren't supposed to be famous. they are supposed to be young girls inside my TV and i'm supposed to care in a way i can't care about a celebrity.
I don't know.
In any case.
I'm addicted to the show... it's not cool and it's not trendy but i have to keep watching now. Just to make sure they do allright...

well well

In the time it has taken me to blog i have had a horrid bronchitis with high fever.
Thank god that my mother had time to get my girl at nursery and bring me back to my childhood home. i was ill... properly couldn't breathe and felt like my bones had all truned to jelly.
but i got my antibiotics and i'm more or less back on track.
at least i'm back at work...
I just need a bit more oxygen and we're good to go...

as to the rest of my life.
well... i'm still trying to be creative but finding the day a bit short.... i'm still writing my novel. the characters are chewing their way thru the story in my head but i haven't had time to type their shenanigans.
i swear those teens in that story have taken on a life of their own.... if i had a wish it would be that i could turn off my brain and mentally sleep with my laptop on and my characters flowing out thru my fingers. i wouldn't mind editing out the uninteresting things afterwards....

Oh and i found this:

How a New Food Sprinkle Convinces the Brain to Stop Over-Eating


You have GOT to be joking right?
a chemical that you sprinkle on your food to eat less????
how about some common sense restraint people?

Duplex festival Oslo 5.th Feb

Jonathan Knight Is Gay: New Kids On The Block Star Comes Out
Bless you Jon for not making a fuss.

I was a huge fan back in my green youth. But even at the age of 12 i somehow knew Jonathan Knight was “off limits”. But then at that age i couldn’t give a red monkeys bottom if either of those guys were into whatever… you name it… elephant-poo, shoes, s&m… you name it it would have been forgiven… at the age of 12 i believed wholeheartedly that the sun shone out of their bottoms and i truly believed that every one of those boys would be able to walk on air… never mind water…

To be honest tho… i was more inclined to suspect his brother of playing it a bit too much up for the girls but i’m not gonna make a thing of it.

there is nothing even close to being shocking or surprising about this but for some reason the newspapers think it’s important.

Jonathan, If you happen to read this, like ever… please know… You still rock!
 
Honestly? New Kids On The Block were such a HUGE part of my adolescence, And i have a million fond memories from their music, the giddy feeling i had and remembering all the posters i had all over my room. I went straight from puppies and horses and dreams of becoming a circus-princess to plastering my entire room in New Kids…They were seriously EVERYWHERE!
i kept all the magazine clippings until i was 20 and i still have the music on CD in case of a proper down-in-the-dumps-day. the music? quite frankly (in hindsight and with an evolved taste…) it’s rubbish… but back then it was the big IT and it cheers me up simply by reminding me of a much much simpler time when life was without finance, relationships and cooking.

so basically… i don’t care if  penguins turn you on… You are still my teen-hero and pinup!

here goes

If you look at my Body and Soul page there is a little goal for February outlined.
Today is the day!

I am going to begin on a Monday due to all good things have to have a start and i could not be arsed to begin on a weekend...
I know... I Know... Procrastinating will get you nowhere!
So to repeat my promise:
The goal is to every evening spend half an hour on MOVING!
to begin with i will focus on my somewhat loose gut.
I will do the following:
Plank
Cycling boat
and

BREATH	HIP ROLL	NORMAL
.	..	.
10 Deep Breaths	2 Sets of 10 slow rolls each side – with 20 seconds rest.	2 Sets of 10 lifts with 20 seconds rest.
STANDING ROTATION	HANDS VIA KNEES	SEATED KNEE TUCKS
	.	.
Alternate sides for 30 – 45 seconds.	2 Sets of 10 lifts with 20 seconds rest between sets.	2 Sets of 6 – 10 lifts with 20 seconds rest between sets.
Wish me luck!

angels

This week i have visitors in my life.
These particular angels will stay with me untill Saturday when they are supposed to move on to 3 of my friends and bring them some happiness.
The only problem is that my friends are all a bunch of cynics who laughs at the idea of lighting a candle and asking for help from these beings of light.
So when they are finished with my life, i will send them on to the one other person i know who believes.
And she is allready the most enthusiastc-fantastic person i know!
but...
I think they do something. Not a huge degree of change but some...
I won't say what i've asked for but i can feel then pulling at me in the right directions.
the cat senses it too. he's way more patient than usual and he's cuddly yet not his clingy self. he seems somehow more content.
I don't know... It may be just me.
But i seem calmer too. i don't feel as stressed and yesterday on the bus i actually felt happy. not just glad to be going home and seeing my beautiful girl, but truly blissful and deeply content. I was so surprised i started looking for what made me feel so good and i couldn't put my finger on it. although i was dog-tired form a long day at work, the happiness kinda stuck and was just there. i thought it might be the late-winter light that hints of spring but i don't like spring all that much as it creates stupid mounts of havoc with my immune system. I do love the first flowers tho...
I didn't even mind climbing into my car thru the rear hatch coz the frost had glued all the doors stuck. Noramlly i'd swear at the stupid car for being so stupidly idiotic, making me late and inconvenient... but yesterday i was happy that the fall of snow was a dry-drift that would fly off as i set the wipers in motion rather than heavy wet stuff that i would have to climb back out wioth the brush again to scrape and brush off.
i don't know why this feeling seems wrong. Nothing seems to faze me this week. It's like i'm impervious to stress and negativity....
So... I've decided to use these angels who are visiting me as a springboard into a calmer and more harmonic self.
so what if the weather is foul or there is lots to do at work.
I will from now on try my best at playing the Pollyanna-game!
Does anybody else remember her? in the books she had a game of trying to find something positive in every single situation.
I ahve allready written my wishes for the angels but i hope this feeling remains.

feverchild

Sometimes i wish i could take certain burdens for my daughter.
At the moment she is sat on the sofa with a grayish hue to her face and a body full of the flu. she's been suffering since friday but didn't get a fever untill saturday and although her morale and mood is good she is still suffering with a blocked nose and no apetite... poor tyke.
I was ill more or less constantly as a child and i had a steady stream of bronchitis from the age of 5 ish. thankfully my daughter has so far had a teflon coated health so i'm hoping she won't have the constant fevers i remember form my childhood. i am supplying a steady stream of drinks, ice lollies and potatocrisps to at least keep her hydrated. the rest is up to mother nature.
Tomorrow, if the fever don't break tonight, we'll be heading for the doctors.
i don't like the idea of dragging her outside in the wintercold while she has a fever but by tomorrow her fever has lasted for so long i'd like to eliminate any infections beyond the ordinary flu-virus...

The wonderful thing about 30…

One of my friends turned 30 latelly and thus i feel it is appropriate to muse a bit on the subject…
30 is a wonderful age. i had a bit of a crisis on the wole changing decade thing… and now it kinda freaks me out that i’ll be 33 in March… and i will tell you why:
this is sooo totally irrational but here goes…
When i was 17 there was a tarot-booth in Trondheim during a festival or some such event.. my friend wanted to try so we were offered a two for one prize and my friend said she’d pay so i went along. and after my friend had been told about a lightning bright future, the “gypsy” woman spoke and spoke and spoke loads…,
when it was my turn, she didn’t speak at all, which kinda freaked me out.

then when all the cards were dealt she said (my own comments on her predictions in blue…):

“you will face great grief and hardship. I see there will be many children but also great loss (I have miscarried at least 2 times and had an ectopic pregnancy..)
You will not find peace in your work, you have a golden heart which people will recognize and take advantage of (Yup… i’m too nice…hehe)
she said something about money and love which was either not interesting at the time or interpreted to mean a guy i had a crush on at the time… so i don’t remember….
and…
Then she dealt some new cards in a section of the “sun” she had laid out for me and she looked really worried… But then she said:
I’m not sure if i should tell you this but i do not see your future beyond your mid 30′ies. there is death at the age of 34 and the cards after that age are nondescript and cloudy. All i I will say, your journey ends when you are 34.”

so i’m kinda freaked out over approaching 34…
friends of mine who know tarots are shocked that she would say this to me as serious tarot readers should never predict actual death. they are usually allowed to say there will be a change, but they should not predict death.
A friend of mine who was learning palmistry did a follow up a bit later and she said signs are that i should have 7 or one child. (4 down…)
and that something happens in my early adulthood coz there is a serious break in my lifeline, and my lifeline is generally weak.
So being a grown-up in my 30′ies kinda isn’t where i wanna be…

Here we go again

I have one blog in Norwegian, but as i'm following a whole bunch of english written blog i'm adding a new and exiting english one too...
 Happy Reading!